We all know that failure is inevitable, we never intentionally set ourselves up for it, but one way or the other, it happens from time to time, we fail at things. It took me many years to come to grips with failure and now, I’m perfectly fine with it. It teaches me so much; Sometimes, things just don’t work out like I want them to, that’s okay, there is always something to learn.
Growing up, failure was a dirty word, I would move hell and high water to make sure I didn’t fail. Peer pressure was immense, family pressure to do well at school also. I paid the price of a country girl growing up in a small town. Where everybody knew everybody and the bush telegraph would reach my parents before I could. So whether I failed in class, failed at sport, failed elastics at recess, I was always conscious that everyone was watching me, waiting for me to slip up again. The truth is, no one was, but my inner self-talk was telling me otherwise.
- You’re not good enough.
- You’re an idiot, why did you attempt that?
- What makes you think you can be an achiever?
- You’re a nobody.
- What gives you the right to have a go?
Can you see where I’m going with these thoughts? A lot of them stem from my childhood, the schoolyard and even the classroom. We learn failure is bad from the moment we begin to understand, if it wasn’t coming from the other kids, it was the teachers, and at home, the pressure was on too. These things shape you, how you think and in turn, your self-esteem.
My 2 Important Lessons I Learnt From Failure
It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s, I realised two very important facts. I had grown up, got married and had children win, win, win.
- Failure didn’t kill me, it shaped my life. It made me more determined to succeed, and I did and have.
- I learnt from the failure and didn’t do it again. I figure, if you repeat the failure, you deserve to fail so that wasn’t going to happen.
I’ve realised that failure is a very necessary part of life, it shapes and defines us into who we are today. I now have over half a century of failures notched on my belt and when I look back on them, I can see why and importantly how they were failures. I think realising the how is just as important as knowing the why. There are still times when self-doubt and insecurities pop into view and I have to work hard to push them out.
Where you can get help
The thoughts of failure can be magnified when it comes to promoting yourself and your business. Dr Vesna Grubacevic’s post The Top 3 Traits Insecure People Have In Common is a good read if you need help in this area.
So next time you’re worried about failing or not giving something ago because there is the possibility it will fail; they are perfectly normal thoughts. Don’t let them stop you taking that step because it could be that step that changes your life. If you want to find out how you can take build an amazing Virtual Assistant biz, then click here to find out more.